I had never heard of Humanae Vitae until after I had gotten married. I remember stumbling across the small booklet on a bookshelf at my in-laws house. I read through it and thought it was nice. Over the years it has come to mean much more to me. When John and I got married we answered the trendy question, “So how many kids do you want?” with the response, “As many as God gives us.”
We had a complete and honest desire to do this, but we did not quite understand the full meaning of what this meant, or why we should do this. We truly wanted a big family, and hoped it was part of God’s plan for us. We looked at John’s parents, who at the time had over thirty-five grandchildren and desired this for ourselves as well. We saw this as being a blessed life and hoped that one day we would gain the same rewards.
Five years into our marriage we had already had four children. These were the hardest times for us. Ironically, I sometimes wish we could go back to those days when the kids and I were all at home and did not have a schedule bossing us around. As wild and crazy as it was, it was also quite peaceful. The only places we had to go were to doctor appointments and the grocery store. Nobody played sports, so we lived our life at home, and not in the car.
After our fourth child was born we decided to take a look into Natural Family Planning (NFP). We really were not committed to using it, because we did not have serious reasons to not have a child at that time, but we did learn it and actually found it interesting. We knew exactly when we conceived our next child. I did not even have to take a pregnancy test. We found NFP to be a good resource for us. It taught us a lot about ourselves, and built our marriage up into one that had more respect for each other.
Some married couples require a full commitment to NFP. If the married couple has serious reasons to postpone a pregnancy, they could use NFP and abide by its simple rules. The NFP couple has control of their chart, and they make the choice as to when the marital act will and will not take place, but other than that their will is given over to God. When our will is given over to God, His Holy Spirit can move a couple to monthly discern His will for their family. Sometimes this moves the couple to take leap of faith and be at peace with His plan.
When Humanae Vitae was published the majority of Catholics refuted it. Even today, Catholics do not understand the seriousness of the document. It came out just after the birth control pill was rising in popularity. Since this time, several studies have been published stating that in marriages where the couple is using artificial contraception there is a 50% chance of the marriage lasting. However, couples that use Natural Family Planning to space out the births of their children have 0.2% divorce rate. Humanae Vitae documents many reasons why this could be. Pope Paul VI points out quite prophetically that this indeed would happen if the world embraced artificial contraception.
Catholics during this time were arguing that the Pope just wanted to get into their business, and that he needed to get out of their bedroom. The argument even today is that “they are married and they can do whatever they want behind their bedroom door.” The Church’s teaching in Humanae Vitae does what any good mother tries to do. Use her wisdom to protect her children. The Church warns that artificial birth control would damage marriages, degrade women, and demoralize the marriage act.
All of this has happened, and more. Natural Family Planning, supported by the Church, offers an alternative to the downward spiral of marital relationships. NFP teaches us about the observations a couple can make throughout their reproductive cycle to postpone a pregnancy. Natural Family Planning was never intended to be a form of birth control, but rather a way to listen to God’s call for responsible parenthood without diminishing or damaging the marriage and family. Fertility awareness methods have made great strides over the years. When used correctly, Natural Family Planning is 99% effective. It is now also being used to combat infertility, which has come about, in part, as a result of the pill and other forms of artificial contraception.
Infertility is a heart wrenching experience for couples. Natural Family Planning and NaPro technology have helped thousands of women conceive naturally. The Church still opposes the use of artificial contraception and in vitro fertilization. In Vitro (from the Latin root meaning “within the glass”) Fertilization is another destructive means that has been used in an attempt to control when a human life should come into this world. Millions of unborn children sit frozen in labs all over the country, just waiting for their parents to decide when they are ready for another child. Sadly, several embryos are placed in the woman’s uterus, with the hope of one or two latching on to continue their life. If more than two survive the transplant and cling to the endothelial lining for life, it will be proposed that the parents choose to eliminate all but two of the children. This comes as a crushing predicament for the parents and forces a difficult decision - one they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.
Humanae Vitae was trying to protect us from this pain. Mainstream thought is so backwards now. The world has us thinking that we have the power to decide when life enters this world and when it is time for it to leave. The birth control pill itself has caused so much pain. It is also known that couples on the pill for a year or more unknowingly abort early pregnancies.
Through the grace from good instruction, John and I have learned the teachings of our Faith. We understand the Church to be our protector. She is always looking out for what is best for us. Our Faith has also taught us that the children God blesses us with are not our own. Yes, they have our genetic make up, but they ultimately belong to Him. They are part of His plan, not ours. He has had a purpose for them even before we took our“leaps of faith” in being open to new life.
I am always learning more and more about the amazing gift of the Church. It not only attempts to protect us from the sins of a broken world, but it embraces us when we fall to the worldly temptations of our earthly lives. I am also thankful to the many priests who are also growing in knowledge on the Church’s gift of Humanae Vitae. Their service to us in this regard is of great necessity and urgency. Too many fellow Catholics brush off this teaching as not important because they never hear about it.
July 25th marks the 42nd anniversary of Humanae Vitae, and the week following is Natural Family Planning Awareness Week. This is the time to learn more about NFP and the Church’s teaching on family planning. It is never too late. St. Henry Parish offers NFP classes on the second Thursday of every month. Contact their office for more information, 352-2259.
